Community
News
Veteran
Support
Invite Your
Friends to Join
Added on Sun 7th Apr 2019 2:14pm   Last edited on Wed 24th Apr 2019 2:32am
#1

Ruth Barlow

Posts: 26
Location: Utah
Member since: 15/12/2017

Funerals are tough now

Does anyone else have a hard time attending funeral services since your terminal diagnoses?  I still go, but everything inside of me wants to avoid it because it hits so close to home.



Added on Wed 10th Apr 2019 9:02am   Last edited on Wed 10th Apr 2019 9:02am
#2

Amanda Conti

Posts: 26
Location: CA
Member since: 4/10/2017

It's probably impossible not to feel the fear or worry when you attend such an event. It used to scare me even when I was still healthy. Then again, positive events like anniversaries or holiday parties bring the same kind of feeling.

Ruth, does it affect you negatively during the funerals?

Added on Mon 22nd Apr 2019 6:23am   Last edited on Mon 22nd Apr 2019 6:23am
#3

Katie Phillips

Posts: 14
Member since: 15/03/2019

Even though I have had CF my whole life, attending funerals is still difficult for me. It makes me wonder how much ime I have left, and I feel a lot of different emotions about my illness. On the other hand, I have also gotten a better idea of the type of service I'd like after I pass away. I really like it when the service focuses on celebrating someone's life rather than focusing on the sadness everyone feels for the person being gone. I try to live my life in a way that people can celebrate me when I am gone. 

Added on Tue 23rd Apr 2019 3:07pm   Last edited on Tue 23rd Apr 2019 3:07pm
#4

Ruth Barlow

Posts: 26
Location: Utah
Member since: 15/12/2017

Amanda, thanks for your kind words.  Funerals now make me feel depressed, anxious, and worried.  I can plainly see myself as the person in the coffin and I can see my children weeping for me.  I try to just banish those thoughts.  I remind myself that I'm there to pay my respects and to offer condolences and whatever aid I can render to the grieving family.  I've never enjoyed going to funerals (who does?) but my emotions about death and grief are more intense since my terminal diagnoses.  I'm thankful to Heavenly Father that these times of grief are infrequent as most of those I know are in good health.  

Katie Philips, that's such a mature and beautiful way of looking at it!  I'm going to try thinkinng about it as a celebration of that person's life next time.  It can't hurt. 

 

Added on Wed 24th Apr 2019 2:32am   Last edited on Wed 24th Apr 2019 2:32am
#5

Amanda Conti

Posts: 26
Location: CA
Member since: 4/10/2017

Katie, that's a lovely way to put it. Funerals are generally the time to look back on the deceased's life and our own. It's the moment to appreciate the good things that happened, regret the bad choices, and think about what to do next. It's just that we all feel such things more strongly since our diagnosis, so it's not exactly easy to deal with all those emotions. I'm going to try to look at it more positively as well.